jaxx is in danger.

When you have nieces & nephews , your main priority is to keep them safe . I so so so wish i could keep my little nephew safe . About a year ago , my nephew was taken from us by AZDCS for false reports of abuse & neglect . We were weeks away from adopting him & making his placement permanent in our home . His paternal grandma is attempting to gain custody of him , as well as physically abusing him & keeping him from all of his family . My life feels so incomplete without him & i know he misses us so much . I started a gofundme to help with the cost of the attorney & it’s going to take $20K USD to even get his case to the appellate court ( the judge has ruled in the paternal grandma’s favor already & not allowing my mom’s evidence in court ) . The way the judge has acted so far is DISGUSTING to say the least . She obviously doesn’t care about the safety of my nephew & is just bending over & taking whatever AZDCS is giving her .

The bio for the gofundme reads: “Dear Friends, I am the biological grandmother of a bright, beautiful, loving three-year-old boy named Jaxx and his sweet, six-month-old brother, Maxx. I cared for Jaxx for over two years because his parents struggled with alcohol and drugs and became unable to care for him after the death of his three-month-old sister, Marlee in 2018. Jaxx’s parents’ rights were severed in June of 2019. After having lost both his parents and his sister, the Arizona Department of Child Safety (DCS) came to my home after receiving an anonymous tip from Jaxx’s paternal grandparents that I was “neglecting” my grandson and immediately removed Jaxx from my care without having any proof or conducting an investigation. DCS informed me that because Arizona does not recognize grandparents’ rights and because Jaxx’s parents’ rights were severed, I was legally no longer Jaxx’s grandmother and had no rights to Jaxx. DCS placed Jaxx and his infant brother, Maxx in the care of their paternal grandparents. The paternal grandparents were parties to a criminal investigation after my granddaughter Marlee died in their home. They smoke and drink with my grandsons, have a documented criminal history, are being investigated for child abuse and neglect, and have multiple family members who have used and distributed drugs. Jaxx has since developed a speech disorder, is showing signs of physical abuse including a black eye and repeated bruising all over his body, has had three serious injuries that required hospitalization, and both Jaxx and Maxx have developed respiratory illnesses since being placed with the paternal grandparents. DCS refuses to admit that Jaxx and Maxx would be safer with another family member because they do not want to admit that they were wrong, and they want to close the case on my grandsons. I have no criminal record, yet, DCS has treated me like a criminal and labeled me an unsafe person who is not fit to have any contact verbally or in-person with my grandsons. In August of 2019 I retained an attorney and have fought to get custody of Jaxx for over a year. Because DCS does not want to admit that they removed two children from a loving and safe home to a home in which they are subjected to abuse and neglect, I am at risk of losing my grandsons forever. Our juvenile system and the Arizona Department of Child Safety is broken. Many of the individuals who work for DCS, the Juvenile Courts, and the Attorney General’s Office are accustomed to rubber stamping a child’s file and moving children through the system based only on the testimony of a case worker, without ever determining where the child is safest. In this state, a DCS case worker only needs to cite “neglect” or “abuse” and there is no documentation or proof required and your children could be removed and become lost in the system forever. The judges and the Guardians Ad Litem who are supposed to protect a child and have their best interests, will always defer to the DCS case worker’s testimony regardless of the evidence. These individuals should be the last line of defense for a child in the system, yet they are equally as guilty of moving files through a system without ever spending one minute with the child. I have spent my entire life savings, was forced to sell my home, and am facing the slimmest chance of ever seeing my grandsons again. If you have ever experienced the loss of a child, a grandchild, or have known anyone who has been forced to deal with the Arizona DCS system, please consider helping me to appeal my case for Jaxx. I will use everything I have and receive to fight for the children who are unfortunate enough to have become a part of this broken system and I will continue to speak out against the injustices that the state of Arizona is allowing to happen to our children. Please consider helping in any way that you feel compelled. If you have a similar story, please contact me to share it as I intend to speak up for the grandparents who have lost their grandchildren, for the children who have lost important familial connections, and to encourage our legislators to implement changes to the system to prevent these injustices from occurring. Please also pray for my family and especially for my grandsons, Jaxx and Maxx, that they be protected from any further pain and suffering caused by DCS. Thank you and may God Bless you and your children.”

I just wish SOMEONE would shine some light on his case & prevent him from officially being adopted by his abuser & save his life . His link is below .

https://gf.me/u/yygtqf

D e n t a l A s s i s t i n g

It’s been a while since my last post. Many things have happened and I thought by the time I was ready to publish another one things would be better. Since the last post, my nephew’s dad’s parents lied to DCS and provided fabricated evidence so he was removed from our care without proper investigation. I broke up with an emotionally abusive boyfriend. Started dating someone new who lights my soul on fire. Went on admin leave because of, yet again, false complaints. Corona Virus hit causing my school to temporarily close (no update on when they will be back up). My new nephew was born and removed right away due to the previous false allegations (because apparently DCS is not bound legally & can do whatever they want).

I was going to make a blog REALLY going in on DCS and their malpractice (as well as Surprise Police Dept’s detective attempting to sway my niece’s death investigation to try to look like a homicide & throw my sister in prison & how one of the Arizona Attorney General’s refuse to step out of my nephews case and doesn’t care about the best interest of a child), but due to the cases not being completely closed, it could potentially hurt us. Sounds fair right? Punish someone for exposing the most corrupt system in the United States? THAT IS FAMILY COURT & DCS FOR YOU.

The topic I’m going to touch base on is actually my DENTAL ASSISTING SCHOOL! To say that it is magical is an understatement. I genuinely had no clue what I was getting myself into. I just went online and saw several careers that required a minimal amount of school, with AMAZING hours, & was sold on dental assisting. Granted, it had been about 5 years since I was last in school so I knew this was going to be an uphill battle for me. I chose my school after looking at 2 others. I was really sold on it only being 13 weeks long, 12 hours a week, offering more certifications than the other schools & close to home. The teachers/employees were so nice and helpful when it came to anything I needed, so I knew it was going to be a great fit.

The first week was really not bad at all. I felt like the curriculum was very easy to comprehend. I received my tablet, books, uniforms & typodont so i was completely prepared for material we were about to learn. However, not going to lie, wearing an uncomfortable uniform is my biggest pet peve, especially when there are no alternative brands you can buy. Comfort is everything to me. For some reason I can’t even focus on simple tasks if what I’m wearing is distracting. The uniforms we have to wear are very restricting in certain areas (baggy on the legs/tight on the waist). Personally, I would have done a little more research on other brands that cater to all body types, especially since uniforms are included in the tuition & can be very inexpensive in bulk.

The school is laid out exactly like a dental office would be (minus the classroom area) because it actually used to be a dental office. It has all the tools needed to properly learn the curriculum. The class is pretty quiet, making it very easy to learn, but sometimes challenging to ask questions since hardly anyone wants to make noise. And like every class, there’s a couple students that don’t study, rely on their mates for answers, so that can be frustrating. I don’t understand how people can get by in trade schools doing that. Your literal entire job is the curriculum being taught, so not paying attention and taking the easy way out will hurt not only you, but the office that hires you. The office is fully expecting someone to have an understanding of the material, not someone that slacked off or cheated their way through 13 weeks.

Due to Corona Virus striking the United States, school has temporarily closed. At this point I would actually have finished in 5 days, leaving me pretty salty about the whole situation, but now it just gives me more time to study everything so I don’t have to work as hard when I get back.

The Other Woman .

A couple months ago I found out my ex husband had a girlfriend the entire year we were separated . Which is fine, that’s not the issue, he’s a grown man & I was seeing other people too. The issue is we were also having sex/meeting up pretty often at the same time they were boyfriend/girlfriend . I knew he was kind of seeing someone because I found her pregnancy tests, birth control & vibrators in the place he was staying in (that was in my name) , but he tried to reassure me they weren’t serious & that he wasn’t ready for anyone else after me.

In the summer of 2018 – one night he came over , we did the dirty, then shit got real . For some reason he decided he wanted to come clean & confessed that he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant. My ex had himself so deep in his lies & f*ck-boyness that he covinced himself she was the one fucking around & it was probably her ex’s baby anyways, but he paid for her to have an abortion because he didn’t the chance of it being his & he wasn’t ready for another child. 

I didn’t find out they were actually dating until December of 2018 , when I realized he blocked me on facebook & she was tagging him in boyfriend pictures . 

& I have to say , it honestly broke me knowing he got someone else pregnant . He knew that was the one thing I really wanted in life, besides being his wife . I just wanted babies of my own . What was even shittier was that he waited until after we f*cked to tell me . WHO DOES THAT?

He told me I was the only person who knew because he was so ashamed of what he did . I know I just immediately was in shock & just heartbroken because I knew he was going to get someone else pregnant because of how careless he is .

I did try to tell her about what he was doing but she seemed uninterested & didn’t believe a word I was saying (why would any woman in denial believe the other woman & that their boyfriend is a piece of shit?) You’re right , they wouldn’t . Women have this strange way of blaming another lady for their boyfriend cheating on them because they refuse to hold him accountable . Oh well . 

Since all this drama happened , I started dating somebody seriously . He’s amazing , a piece of shit like me (humor-wise) , moody asf , but still is obsessed with me & making me happy . My boyfriend is fully aware of all the bs I had to endure last year & he’s so committed to being the opposite of my ex husband it’s wonderful . I’m excited to see where life takes us .

(A little explanation about us will be in a future blog) .

XOXO .

05.05-08.05.2018

I was having such a good day . I had just gotten off work & was laying in bed talking on the phone . I remember being so excited to get a few hours of rest , then head over to my mom’s to see my nephew & hopefully see my niece that day . I hadn’t seen my niece in a few weeks and I really missed her .

I get a call at about 0915 from my mom then a text following saying “It’s an emergency” …. and I felt my heart shatter from there . Usually anything in my family that’s considered “an emergency” is NOT that serious . But man , oh man , I was wrong . I called my mom back immediately & the first thing that comes out of my mom’s mouth is “Tifany , I think Marlee’s dead” . (Yes I am already crying hysterically writing this) . I honestly didn’t know what to make of that sentence – seeing as my family hasn’t had anyone die in it since my Nana was the last person to pass away about 15 years ago . So , I did what any other person would do hearing the news of a loved one passing – I freaked the fuck out .

Luckily where she had been life-flighted to was only 5 miles away & took me about 10 minutes to get to . I didn’t know how this could have happened , being as she was always taken care of well and I just never pictured anyone in my family dying for a long time .

The hospital wouldn’t let me see my niece one last time saying they would only let the parents see her & it honestly broke my heart . I’m not going into details about what happened because it’s honestly way too hard to talk about & it still doesn’t feel real that she’s gone . My niece was my mini-me . She looked so similar to me as a baby & was so thick & pasty too . She LOVED to smile & have her feet tickled & was just a super happy baby .

Even though I never got to establish a big relationship with her before she passed – I’m still able to look back on the pictures and videos and remember her as she was . Right now I’m in recovery – trying to repair my heart being shattered & it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with . I find myself staring at other babies when I’m out in public , wondering what my niece would look like/talk like/act like if she got to grow up . Wanting so desperately to be able to give her one last kiss or warm snuggle session .

Knowing I will never be able to get those feelings back , it helps me appreciate having my nephew around a little more , & makes me want to hug him a little tighter . I’ve always wanted babies of my own ; a big family & lots of adventures was my goal in life . But I think God placed me here to be the BEST auntie I can be . Not just for my nephew , but for myself . To learn to love someone unconditionally & know that they love me just as much .

I have really been wanting to write this since the day everything happened , but I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it (until now at 0200 when I can’t sleep) .

& Yes – I do realize this blog is chaotic & could definitely use some structure but it honestly represents the way my life is set up & I don’t feel like fixing it .

I Went to The Angry Crab Shack & This is How it Went .

I’m a woman who is OBSESSED with seafood . My father (no longer in the picture) had me try everything under the sun when it came to those fishy little guys . I am so grateful for him though , there is hardly anything i won’t eat . When I first walked into the  restaurant I honestly did not know what to expect . I was greeted by a wonderful bartender with a kick-ass attitude . She started me out with a little menu , consisting of the main meat I’ll choose . Originally I went here for crawfish however being informed on the size of the fish , I chose the shrimp instead . It was about 4x the size of the crawfish . (sorry for the quality)

After I chose my meat , I had to go for my sauce . I was recommended the Trifecta because it was the most popular sauce this location had . Trifecta consisted of Kajun + Lemon Pepper + Garlic = Everything I love ! Next I had to choose the level of spice . Keep in mind I have GERD’s ( Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease) so I’m not supposed to have anything crazy . I chose the mild sauce .

Finally I added some corn & sauce to the bag & voila , Heaven in a baggie . I was given some parchment paper , a bib , gloves & a bucket to throw every scrap into .

IN ALL , this place was amazing . I would definitely check it out . I will also be trying other places with similar style & try to upload it as soon as possible 🙂 .

What’s up, Dog?

HUSKY : The Siberian Husky is a medium size working dog breed that originated in north-eastern Siberia, Russia. He is happy , gentle (most of the time) & needs A LOT of attention . I adopted a siberian husky abt 2.5 months ago & it is BY FAR the most stressful , yet rewarding learning experience I have gone thru . My husky’s name is Balto & he is a spoiled one .

LOVES : Balto loves his Kong (greatest thing ever invented) , his bacon, his monkey & he loved his iguana before he ripped it open & drug the stuffing all over my backyard .

HATES : (i use hates because there is no way in heck he is going to change his mind) . Balto hates sweet potatoes , hates when dogs nibble his face , when i leave the room for more than 30 seconds , when i bring him inside for any reason at all & when i don’t let him eat birds / small animals .

My dog requires training , time , love & attention . I knew that going into the adoption process . The plus side is he’s only 11 months old so he will be cool & collected in no time!

CARE : When it comes to the health of my Balto , i was thinking / wanting to switch him to a raw diet . I’ve looked at the pros & cons (cost , nutrients , brands , etc ) and i think it would really benefit Balto . The only thing i’m worried about is his digestion . He has a VERY sensitive stomach . I was thinking it was because he’s still in his puppy stage but I feel like it is beyond that .

Any other dog moms experience this with their baby ? What are some things you do to work around it ? Let me know 🙂

Learning to Control My Finances

I’ll be the first to admit that I LOVE spending money or even almost spending it (if that makes sense) . And by almost spending it I mean window shopping , online shopping, everything  . I’m always planning out my life ; what kind of house I’m going to buy (everything down to the counter tops) , the next car I’m going to get , the number of dogs I’m going to adopt, how many kids I will have, etc.

Up until recently I have done nothing but think about money. I just enrolled in school for Surgical Technology and let me tell you, school ain’t cheap . Surg Tech school is nowhere near the cost of traditional med school but it also isn’t something I can only work part time to afford it .

That being said , I have decided to cut my expenses , one bill at a time ! I attempted to start with my phone bill , there’s no wiggle room there. I don’t use public wifi (it’s slow and can be unsafe) and I hate asking people for their wifi passwords ! So I got the unlimited plan from Verizon and it’s the best thing to ever happen to me . It lets me stream netflix through an HDMI cord to my tv , I can lounge around on my time off just scrolling through Pinterest (and updating my blogs) and I can use my phone as a hotspot just about anywhere for any device I have . Not to mention Verizon is the best service I’ve ever had .

Next I moved to my phone bill, which hasn’t changed, how about my rent? No , it isn’t easy to cut your cost of living ,  especially if it’s a fixed amount , but once our lease is up (in three months) my husband and I are inheriting two roommates ! And moving into a house instead of staying in an apartment . We’ve managed to find very cute 3 and 4 bedroom homes for about $1200 per month, having each of us pay $300 .

I then looked at how much I spend on food and gas . This was a pretty big area for me . At least five days a week I would go get something to eat (and bring it to work) . So when I really started looking at my statements and seeing all of my charges (gas wasn’t so bad) that’s when I knew I had a problem . I used to be a poster child for at home cooking . I want to get back to that point , there are just a lot of temptations in the world that try to lead me off track . Not only would I save a ton of money mea-planning , I would also shed a tiny bit of weight too !

It’s honestly not easy sticking yourself on a budget when you’ve been living well above your means for a long time , but oh is it so worth it once you pay your bills off and have money to save !

Take a Leap of Faith

I honestly feel like I am stressing out constantly . It could be anything in the world , the smallest thing imaginable & I would rack my brain about it . I really don’t have any stress management tips either . So that’s where I turn to you , my reader . What helps you through the hard & stressful times ? No matter if it is physical or mental exercises , I would love to hear about them !

Right now I am in the middle of a drastic life change . The kind of life change that is a given to stress about , yet I don’t even know anything bad is going to happen . And that my friends is called “switching careers” . Over the last two years I feel like I’ve been doing nothing but switching jobs back and forth to which ever one I feel like “suits me” . But let’s be honest , I will never be happy staying in one place . My life is full of wanderlust & I always want to have an adventure .

Recently I inherited a new family member . His name is Balto and he’s a Siberian Husky . Balto has lit up my world in the last week and a half , especially since he’s still a puppy . He’s super energetic and naughty . His previous owner neglected him quite a bit (I DON’T KNOW HOW ANYONE DOES THAT TO A PUPPY) so it’s quite difficult trying to correct his habits . He does tend to snap at your face , chew , he’s a picky eater and he was never house trained so I had little pee spots all over the house . Given that it’s only been a week , I have managed to almost completely potty trained him , but he still has an accident every once in a while .

IMG_7824.JPG

Favorite TV Shows (Currently)

arrowandflash

I absolutely LOVE these two . I saw one episode of Arrow a few years ago & randomly stopped watching it . Between school and work , tv shows / movies weren’t a priority for me . A few months back i practically forced myself to start being civilized & stumbled upon Arrow again . I wasn’t really paying attention for the first episode , just playing the show while I did dishes or cooked dinner . I don’t know what happened , but it was like a light switch went off or a little bird told me “just watch it”. So I did . I sat my happy butt down on the couch and binge watched the show until my husband got home . He got hooked on it also & that’s where my addiction with Arrow

the flash

started . My husband and I were able to bond over something (even though it seems silly) , we hadn’t really had anything we agreed on in a long time . So I cherished the time we spent together , watching “our show” . And it was cute how into the show Coltin got , especially when he went as far as claiming him & Stephen Amell (Oliver Queen [Arrow]) looked alike . I still let him have that glory and fan-girl over Stephen any time he wants .

Another favorite of mine is the Flash . Grant Gustin (Barry Allen [The Flash]) has the nerdy/cute vibe going on. I’m not really sure what I like about him . Maybe I just like a man in uniform (lol) but I have fallen in love with

 

that show as well . Plus , Coltin & I bond over that one too , sometimes he likes to skip ahead & I get annoyed because he finds everything out before I do (wah) .

 

greys anatomy

Last but not least , it’s definitely because I’m starting a surgical technology program soon , but I have started watching Grey’s Anatomy like it’s a new religion . Although it is fake , it still prepares me for the types of things I’m going to be experiencing in the operating room . I’ve only gotten to season 2 episode 3 & I’m already emotionally invested in the dang thing . I celebrate the wins when someone doesn’t die on the table (I feel like that doesn’t happen often) . Currently , I am trying to win Coltin over on this show , but he’s being resistant (but don’t worry it will happen) .

 

 

 

That’s it for my [current] favorite shows , I shall post a blog soon about my future career as a Surg Tech . Ta-ta for now .

Working in 911 .

911Yes . it’s hard . I said it . But not for the reasons you think it is . A lot of people say “oh it must be hard dealing with death all the time .” but the truth is I’m not always dealing with death . im dealing with the ones who think they are . or that it’s the end of the world because someone isn’t allowed to be parked on their street without their permission . Or because a school street sign is out when it’s a holiday & forcing them to go less than their speed preference . I am not by any means knocking those who call in for these reasons , but simply trying to make people aware that working in Law Enforcement is HARD . Fellow officers/deputies aren’t always sitting around waiting for calls to be put into service . They’re more than likely working off duty , assisting fellow co-workers/other agencies , finishing up their reports , debriefing for the next shift , trying to get a few hours of a nights sleep , enjoying very little family time , trying to forget about the actual horrors they deal with from work .

But , yes , occasionally I do deal with death . After a while though , some may get a little numb to it . Death doesn’t quite affect you like it did before . You find ways to cope with the losses . Days go by faster ; even your family seems to notice the change in attitude . You get a little colder , skin gets a little thicker . It sucks .

So there . Like I said , Law Enforcement is hard & it is not to be mocked . It’s to be understood . & if this doesn’t give very much insight I would recommend stepping in their shoes for a few hours  by doing a ride-a-long , volunteering with their agency or just downright sitting down and getting to know them .