D e n t a l A s s i s t i n g

It’s been a while since my last post. Many things have happened and I thought by the time I was ready to publish another one things would be better. Since the last post, my nephew’s dad’s parents lied to DCS and provided fabricated evidence so he was removed from our care without proper investigation. I broke up with an emotionally abusive boyfriend. Started dating someone new who lights my soul on fire. Went on admin leave because of, yet again, false complaints. Corona Virus hit causing my school to temporarily close (no update on when they will be back up). My new nephew was born and removed right away due to the previous false allegations (because apparently DCS is not bound legally & can do whatever they want).

I was going to make a blog REALLY going in on DCS and their malpractice (as well as Surprise Police Dept’s detective attempting to sway my niece’s death investigation to try to look like a homicide & throw my sister in prison & how one of the Arizona Attorney General’s refuse to step out of my nephews case and doesn’t care about the best interest of a child), but due to the cases not being completely closed, it could potentially hurt us. Sounds fair right? Punish someone for exposing the most corrupt system in the United States? THAT IS FAMILY COURT & DCS FOR YOU.

The topic I’m going to touch base on is actually my DENTAL ASSISTING SCHOOL! To say that it is magical is an understatement. I genuinely had no clue what I was getting myself into. I just went online and saw several careers that required a minimal amount of school, with AMAZING hours, & was sold on dental assisting. Granted, it had been about 5 years since I was last in school so I knew this was going to be an uphill battle for me. I chose my school after looking at 2 others. I was really sold on it only being 13 weeks long, 12 hours a week, offering more certifications than the other schools & close to home. The teachers/employees were so nice and helpful when it came to anything I needed, so I knew it was going to be a great fit.

The first week was really not bad at all. I felt like the curriculum was very easy to comprehend. I received my tablet, books, uniforms & typodont so i was completely prepared for material we were about to learn. However, not going to lie, wearing an uncomfortable uniform is my biggest pet peve, especially when there are no alternative brands you can buy. Comfort is everything to me. For some reason I can’t even focus on simple tasks if what I’m wearing is distracting. The uniforms we have to wear are very restricting in certain areas (baggy on the legs/tight on the waist). Personally, I would have done a little more research on other brands that cater to all body types, especially since uniforms are included in the tuition & can be very inexpensive in bulk.

The school is laid out exactly like a dental office would be (minus the classroom area) because it actually used to be a dental office. It has all the tools needed to properly learn the curriculum. The class is pretty quiet, making it very easy to learn, but sometimes challenging to ask questions since hardly anyone wants to make noise. And like every class, there’s a couple students that don’t study, rely on their mates for answers, so that can be frustrating. I don’t understand how people can get by in trade schools doing that. Your literal entire job is the curriculum being taught, so not paying attention and taking the easy way out will hurt not only you, but the office that hires you. The office is fully expecting someone to have an understanding of the material, not someone that slacked off or cheated their way through 13 weeks.

Due to Corona Virus striking the United States, school has temporarily closed. At this point I would actually have finished in 5 days, leaving me pretty salty about the whole situation, but now it just gives me more time to study everything so I don’t have to work as hard when I get back.

The Other Woman .

A couple months ago I found out my ex husband had a girlfriend the entire year we were separated . Which is fine, that’s not the issue, he’s a grown man & I was seeing other people too. The issue is we were also having sex/meeting up pretty often at the same time they were boyfriend/girlfriend . I knew he was kind of seeing someone because I found her pregnancy tests, birth control & vibrators in the place he was staying in (that was in my name) , but he tried to reassure me they weren’t serious & that he wasn’t ready for anyone else after me.

In the summer of 2018 – one night he came over , we did the dirty, then shit got real . For some reason he decided he wanted to come clean & confessed that he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant. My ex had himself so deep in his lies & f*ck-boyness that he covinced himself she was the one fucking around & it was probably her ex’s baby anyways, but he paid for her to have an abortion because he didn’t the chance of it being his & he wasn’t ready for another child. 

I didn’t find out they were actually dating until December of 2018 , when I realized he blocked me on facebook & she was tagging him in boyfriend pictures . 

& I have to say , it honestly broke me knowing he got someone else pregnant . He knew that was the one thing I really wanted in life, besides being his wife . I just wanted babies of my own . What was even shittier was that he waited until after we f*cked to tell me . WHO DOES THAT?

He told me I was the only person who knew because he was so ashamed of what he did . I know I just immediately was in shock & just heartbroken because I knew he was going to get someone else pregnant because of how careless he is .

I did try to tell her about what he was doing but she seemed uninterested & didn’t believe a word I was saying (why would any woman in denial believe the other woman & that their boyfriend is a piece of shit?) You’re right , they wouldn’t . Women have this strange way of blaming another lady for their boyfriend cheating on them because they refuse to hold him accountable . Oh well . 

Since all this drama happened , I started dating somebody seriously . He’s amazing , a piece of shit like me (humor-wise) , moody asf , but still is obsessed with me & making me happy . My boyfriend is fully aware of all the bs I had to endure last year & he’s so committed to being the opposite of my ex husband it’s wonderful . I’m excited to see where life takes us .

(A little explanation about us will be in a future blog) .

XOXO .

05.05-08.05.2018

I was having such a good day . I had just gotten off work & was laying in bed talking on the phone . I remember being so excited to get a few hours of rest , then head over to my mom’s to see my nephew & hopefully see my niece that day . I hadn’t seen my niece in a few weeks and I really missed her .

I get a call at about 0915 from my mom then a text following saying “It’s an emergency” …. and I felt my heart shatter from there . Usually anything in my family that’s considered “an emergency” is NOT that serious . But man , oh man , I was wrong . I called my mom back immediately & the first thing that comes out of my mom’s mouth is “Tifany , I think Marlee’s dead” . (Yes I am already crying hysterically writing this) . I honestly didn’t know what to make of that sentence – seeing as my family hasn’t had anyone die in it since my Nana was the last person to pass away about 15 years ago . So , I did what any other person would do hearing the news of a loved one passing – I freaked the fuck out .

Luckily where she had been life-flighted to was only 5 miles away & took me about 10 minutes to get to . I didn’t know how this could have happened , being as she was always taken care of well and I just never pictured anyone in my family dying for a long time .

The hospital wouldn’t let me see my niece one last time saying they would only let the parents see her & it honestly broke my heart . I’m not going into details about what happened because it’s honestly way too hard to talk about & it still doesn’t feel real that she’s gone . My niece was my mini-me . She looked so similar to me as a baby & was so thick & pasty too . She LOVED to smile & have her feet tickled & was just a super happy baby .

Even though I never got to establish a big relationship with her before she passed – I’m still able to look back on the pictures and videos and remember her as she was . Right now I’m in recovery – trying to repair my heart being shattered & it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with . I find myself staring at other babies when I’m out in public , wondering what my niece would look like/talk like/act like if she got to grow up . Wanting so desperately to be able to give her one last kiss or warm snuggle session .

Knowing I will never be able to get those feelings back , it helps me appreciate having my nephew around a little more , & makes me want to hug him a little tighter . I’ve always wanted babies of my own ; a big family & lots of adventures was my goal in life . But I think God placed me here to be the BEST auntie I can be . Not just for my nephew , but for myself . To learn to love someone unconditionally & know that they love me just as much .

I have really been wanting to write this since the day everything happened , but I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it (until now at 0200 when I can’t sleep) .

& Yes – I do realize this blog is chaotic & could definitely use some structure but it honestly represents the way my life is set up & I don’t feel like fixing it .